Journal Entires – By Andre Smith
April 19, 2015 (Arrival)
April 20, 2015 (Day 2)
5:30am wakeup call Lawd!!!! Today we will be hiking a volcano, Pacaya, some of us with horses. I’m glad my stomach has subsided because I’m determined to enjoy this experience. My prayer is simply “Lord, your will!” I’m honesty expecting to witness and perform a miracle on this trip. Jesus said He wants us to do “even greater works” and I want to walk in the supernatural every day. After a 2 hour journey, with breakfast along with way of course we finally arrived at the base of the volcano in Pacaya. God is so intentional and purposeful on how he sets things up and it’s just amazing. My tour guides name was Amillio and my horse’s name was Muneca (Doll in English). Amillio had such a calm spirit and we shared some small talk in Spanish. My horse was a tank on wheels lol. She took the volcano as if she did it in her sleep. It was such an amazing experience to see God’s beauty. As we descended from the mountain, the Lord has shared with me to sow a certain amount of money as my tip for Amillio. I simply agreed and after giving it to him, I learned that it was 7 times the amount of what the normal tip would be. Glory to God! He loved that man so much to put it on my heart to sow what I did for whatever need he had. He also gave me specific instructions to say “This is not from me, Its from Jesus Christ!” I get so excited about how much God cares for each one of us that he sent me to Amillio’s continent and arranged on that specific day from me to come into contact with him to meet a need. God is so good!!Today has been awesome. Holy Spirit is really dealing with me regarding living missionally for the rest of my life and not just here. To watch Connie, Jennifer, and Jeff have “normal” or “everyday” conversations with people then just politely ask to pray for them has really spoken volumes to me. I’m taking in every moment of every day of this new opportunity. God is just awesome. After being watching the way of life they are accustomed to versus mine, I’m so thankful and grateful. We take so much for granted that we don’t even know. I remember hiking or “riding” up the mountain/volcano and watching Amillio and wandering his day to day life, concerns, family, financial situation and it’s just crazy you never know what someone else has been or is going through but for the Spirit of God to lead you do something, shows the supernatural ability of God to go through someone to meet a need of yours that they have no idea what it’s for but they are simply being obedient. It was an honor to not just sow into my tour guides life today, but to sow on purpose. Giving him the money but reiterating this is not of or from me, but Jesus. I am not here on my own accord but on His. I remember simply seeing the post regarding this mission’s opportunity and feeling the unction of Holy Spirit to sign up, with no visible evidence of how I would pay for it. Not wanting to solicit donations because in my mind I felt as if that was me “needing” someone or having to “depend” on others which were a vow I made at a young age after my experiences that I would never do. I was quickly arrested by Holy Spirit saying this isn’t about you and I simply said ok. I said “Lord if you want me to do this, YOU have to make a way. I’m going in your name not mine.” To now be here experiencing something that 3 months ago wasn’t even a thought just shows how God can throw a wrench in our plans to get what He needs to us for the next level. Trust in God is everything. I am forever changed and will never forget the new thing He is doing in me.Philippians 1:6 says “being confident of this, that he who has begun a good work in you will carry it out unto completion unto the day of Jesus Christ.”The tour of the convent was also another life changing experience for me today. Seeing the level at which women sacrificed for God and reverenced Him to leave everything that they’ve know and dedicate their life to Him further affirms that we have no excuse. These women were so committed and had a “whatever it takes” mentality. A relationship with God is a relentless pursuit that requires courage, boldness, and commitment. My life is not my own, to you I belong Lord.The random worship experience in the lower level of the convent was unexplainable. God’s presence was so heavy when Cierra and Jocelyn began singing. I sensed Gods spirit encompassing me along with a rest of assurance that “All is well!”
April 21, 2015 (Day 3)
You ever have God just blow your mind?…………well that’s pretty much what happened to me today. Absolutely life changing experiences that have caused some new desires that I believe the Lord has placed on my heart but we will get into those later. Our first experience today was an AIDS/HIV orphanage. The name of that is synonymously used with death but, I received life today in my spirit. I was nervous about teaching the children a little bit then having to use my Spanish in front of so many people but sometimes you just have to walk it out. The first class we experienced was preschool and I promise I would’ve taken “ALL” of their children home. We all went around introducing ourselves by name and age. When it was my turn, Connie told them my birthday was tomorrow and they started singing “Feliz Cumpleanos” or “Happy Birthday” and one little guy asked me to come back tomorrow for my birthday. It was just amazing to experience the energy and freedom that they had as children. Our next group of children would be the 2nd and 3rd graders which we had the pleasure of teaching them the days of the week in English. These kids are soooooo sharp! The moment we started teachings, they were like sponges soaking it all up. I was sitting in the back of the room and 4 young men got my attention: Jorge, Anthony, Kevin, and Johnny. They literally stole my heart. 2 of them were actually watching us with the preschoolers and saw that we gave them flash lights so they proceeded to ask me where we there’s at. It was so comical because they knew I spoke Spanish and they laid it on me thick. This was in between them passing my sunshades around acting like they were famous people. It really ministered to me the joy and carefree lives that they lived in spite of they’re circumstances. Many of these children have been abandoned by family, the ones that are “supposed” to love us the most, diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, aware of the possible consequences associated with that virus, yet still enjoying life! Class was finished but the day was far from over for them. Recess and lunch were up next and did we have a ball!! During recess I met an amazing young man, that along with the other 4 I will never ever forget, Henry. Henry was 11 and some both Spanish and English, so as you can imagine he was a translator for many. This young man was simply amazing yet so gentle, loving and compassionate. I remember just sitting on the ledge watching the children pray and he put my foot on his knee and started tying my shoe. Read our dialogue below: Me: No you don’t have to that. They’re fine I like wearing them like this all the timeHenry: No it’s ok.Me: OMG! You know how to tie a shoe?Henry: Si (Yes)! (as he proceeds to tie the other one)Me: Gracias Henry!Henry: De Nada! The orphanage was an out of body experience for me because I was trying to figure out why the young boys were flocking to me. They would lay on me, put the head in my arms, wrap themselves in me, play with my beard, and over all very affectionate. Our contact with the organization later explained, these children rarely see a man and a lot of them have never because they’re parents did not want them. For a young man, it’s especially hard when you don’t feel accepted by your father. From personal experience I could definitely relate to them and this made me love them even the more. I just cannot not explained to be able to be used by God to possibly help them heal a wound or fill a portion of a void left that once was mine to bear. These boys will age out of the orphanage by age 12 into another system within the Guatemalan government that will then place them with their families, if they are wanted or to another orphanage for older boys until they age out of there at 16 or 17. One of these boys will be 12 in just 4 months and I’m believing God His best on that young man’s life. Leaving was one of the hardest things to do but I had to trust that just as the Roman soldier understood he could send a word and his soldiers obey, just like Jesus would do (Matthew 8:5-9), I can send the word and know that it shall not return void but do exactly what I send it to do in these young boys lives. We were debriefed prior to regarding what verbiage to use and you don’t say “see you later” because for many of them they believe you won’t because A) the virus/disease may take their life or B) you’ll be just like any other person who has already abandoned them. It’s best to say “goodbye” but I couldn’t even bring myself to formulate those words.
April 22, 2015 (Day 4)
What a Birthday this was!!! Today I woke up early to get breakfast and spend some quiet time with the Lord. He’s been wanting to talk to me but I did not bring a bible so review my Word and the Wi-Fi connection is sometimey here. With that being said, those are excuses. Excuses are a crutch for the uncommitted. Either I’m going to do something or I’m not.We left Antigua at 7am traveling over 2 hours to Panajachel. The views that we have experienced are absolutely amazing. To know that God formed such beauty and creation with His words and this is what was produced is nothing short of amazing. As soon as we arrived at Lake Atitlan (Panajachel), the locals began to flock to us with merchandise in hand trying to sway us to buy their handmade goods. After taking care of all the logistics, we learned that today would be a free day to explore the town and get the most out of the experience. In the midst of walking and bargain shopping, we were all getting to know one another even more. I’m so blessed and thankful to have met every single person on this trip. All so humble and ready to be used by God. We have all watched the behaviors of those who have done these trips before and began to mirror their behavior regarding “Missionally Living” and living intentionally in everything that we do!As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend (Proverbs 27:17). The leaders on our journey through Guatemala have been so instrumental in exemplifying boldness to all of us. We watch them just carry conversations with believers and non-believers and not because they are trying to take something from them, but get something to them, which is Jesus Christ. The conversations are not forced but out of genuine care for their well-being and it just amazes me because we don’t see that often in the states. While exploring, I met two gentlemen that were father and son. Bruce (Father) and JC (son) were minding their business in a store when we randomly popped in there for local food recommendations. Everyone else took their suggestions and started on their way to the restaurant except Denzel and I. We all began sharing our backgrounds and how we ended up in Guatemala. JC is originally from Los Angeles. He graduated college and attended Pharmacy School for one year and decided that was not what he wanted for his life. He and his wife are both currently nurses thy travel all over from orphanages, churches, and different communities helping with healthcare needs. He owned a surf shop in Guatemala, which was located in his father Bruce’s hotel. I asked them would they ever move back to the United States and without hesitation they said “No!” JC then explained to me that his old life wasn’t worth it. The hustle and bustle of a 9 to 5 on top of not enjoying life was not what he wanted. He now lives a life of purpose serving people, while living in peace away from all the noise of the city. I then asked them about church and did they believe in Jesus. Both of them said absolutely. They’ve attended several different kinds of churches and had friends who were Jehovah’s Witness’. After jumping on the inside knowing that these great people served the same God as I, I then asked if it was okay that I prayed for them and their business and without any reluctance they agreed. I prayed not only over their business and them but also for supernatural debt cancellation of all their student loans (over $120,000), that their lives would be examples of Jesus. After hugging, we exchanged information for possible future partnerships with Adventures in Missions/Purchase Effect regarding orphanages or utilizing their hotel when we returned back to Guatemala. We walked away so full. It’s crazy how giving of yourself by building up others and placing their needs before you, can have an internal effect on you. At that moment, I realized that God has graced all his children for this work. We are all missionaries and it doesn’t take leaving the four walls of your own home to start.Tonight’s debriefing was beyond words. We started by worshipping with God in song then everyone shared the adventures of their days. One young lady in particular began to weep in appreciation for the love and kindness that another missionary showed her. She explained that at home she didn’t have like-minded people around her who would pray for her or just simply be there. She then explained that she would be going home to a potentially negative bank account, no gas in her car, along with having to find a new place to live in less than 60 days. This young lady was here strictly in “faith.” Immediately we all began to pray for her and I felt a prompting of Holy Spirit to sow into her life. In the midst of everyone praying, I ran down to my room and grabbed the exact seed Holy Spirit showed me and slid it in her hands. If that moment didn’t already “slay” us all in the spirit, one of our leaders reminded the group of my birthday and everyone began to sing “Happy Birthday.” She then was led by the prompting of Holy Spirit to allow everyone the opportunity to speak whatever God put in their spirits for about/for me. So many words of encouragement and it’s always amazing day to have people share things that they see in you especially in the brief period of time that they’ve known you. Just when I thought all eyes were off me, one of the men had a tailored word from God just for me. He asked me to stand up and look at him. He began to share that there was one thing holding me back from a lot that God has in store for me. It was a situation that I thought I had forgiven and moved on but, in all actuality I had simply put it in a storage locker in the back of my head to collect dust. I knew exactly what he was referencing and the person it was regarding, after several attempts of try to mend a broken relationship, I had simply given up.Debrief was over and I was completely overwhelmed by God’s love just for me. Everyone decided to go get ice cream or grab a bite to eat before we all went to bed but, a group of us decided to pass and all went to one room to socialize. The four of us had created an “unannounced” bond. We all laughed, joked, and always found ourselves in one another’s presence. As we all sat around and reflected on the day, I opened up to them about the relationship with my father that had been plaguing me most of my life. Three of the four of us shared the same story regarding our fathers and there absence. It was absolutely amazing how our stories mirrored one another’s. As each person began to share, everyone realized that they were speaking to themselves. Holy Spirit was not just using them to help others but bringing us all into revelation about our own situations. God says in (scripture regarding everything being placed in U.S. Pertaining to life and godliness). We poured out our struggles and insecurities without fear of vulnerability and judgement. The moment when I and the other guy began to share the things we had to deal because the doors that our fathers left open and never dealt with was unexplainable. As a father, you’re an influencer to your wife and children. God has strengthened us to carry the weight of the world and men that don’t realize that don’t know their true identity. “Generational curses” have to be broken by U.S. Children now because our fathers didn’t want to deal with them. We made a vow that the curse ends with us. We refuse to have children go through the trials, tribulations, and identity crisis that we had to face. We left that room full of hope and gained accountability partners. He and I made a commitment to lee and open line of communication and help each other mend these relationships with our father. The fruit of our decision today will be a priceless blessing tomorrow.The awesome part about the situation is that as I’m writing, I’m getting revelation that God loves me way too much and has soooooooo much in store for me that he doesn’t want this one thing to come up again later in life and potentially destroy me. Jeremiah 31:3 says “I’ve never quit loving you and never will……” He then goes on to say that “He will build you up again.” What a mighty God we serve. He loves me too much to leave me in any mess but, He is a gentleman and will force nothing on you. He gives us the opportunity to accept all His free gifts but it’s up to us to receive by them by faith. I have to forgive this person by faith, regardless of the fact that their actions or lack thereof, have caused me what seems like a lifetime of pain. With all that being said, I have to simply “Let it go.” Easier said than done but I have to trust God in every area of my life without compartmentalizing Him to the areas that I’m strong in. Israel Houghton has a song called “Moving Forward.” It goes….”I’m not going back, I’m moving ahead. Here to declare to you, my past is over. In you, all things are made new, I surrender my life to Christ, and I’m moving, moving forward.”
April 23, 2015 (Day 5)
Many people want to do missions for a “Facebook” status and “Instagram” picture but, it’s not all glitz and glam. This trip has truly humbled me in way needed. Our hotel stay was not my first choice, but it was a necessary sacrifice to be where God needed me to be at a particular time. Last night made me realize just how blessed and “spoiled” we are in the United States.After eating breakfast in the hotel, we boarded a boat in Panajachel, which was actually formed from a volcano crater, and made our way to Santiago. The boat ride was about an hour and a half long but full of true beauty. There is no way someone could deny that there was a God after all the beauty I experienced and peacefulness of the waters. I used that time of solidarity to reflect on life and there are a lot of things that I want to change and along with God, they will.Santiago was another island surrounding Lake Atitlan that captured both a city and country vibe. After arriving, we went to a bead store for a tour and class of exactly how they produced such beautiful and unique products. Beading is a major household income provider for a lot of families in Guatemala. Diego, the owner of the shop we were at, inherited the business from his mother. She was one of the original ladies that start making beads and would eventually go into business with her son. He makes it a point to employ women who have families to take care of amongst other obligations, because they’re able to work at home doing this. He hires a maximum of 2 people from each household so that he can continue to spread work out throughout the whole island. He is just awesome! He is working on being able to travel around the world to sell the beads and help his people but, the process for getting a visa is very difficult right now. Although that is a fact, the truth is “Things happen when we pray,” so we did just that. We prayed “Sweatless Victory” regarding his visa, his business prospering, and the continued support he would be able to extend to his community. It’s a wonderful thing to know that he does what he does to help others and not just himself. After traveling to a small village and witnessing the women work to produce the jewelry while caring for their families, in spite of their living conditions, we made our way back to Panajachel.After getting some food, we began our journey back to Antigua. About 3 hours later we were back to what we knew as “Home” for the week. The food in Panajachel wasn’t our first choice, so we were excited to have familiar food in Antigua. A group of us separate made our way to the center of town when we ran into “Qwame,” simply just asking him for food recommendations. After talking food, I asked him how did he end up in Guatemala? He said he had been researching living in foreign countries for about 4 years before moving to Guatemala. Originally from Los Angeles doing work in the IT field, he knew that there was more to life then waking up, committing to work, coming home and just making it. He made a decision to move and has never looked back. He moved here alone and said would never move back. He said it’s just different. Life is just a better quality there and he can do the same thing in a foreign land, making the same money, and enjoy life even more.
April 24, 2015 (Day 6)
Today was a free day for everyone to do anything that they have not been able to do during our stay here in Antigua. Many explored the city, while others like myself took this time to really rest and enjoy this moment of being here, doing God’s work. What an honor. Our final debriefing commenced at around 8pm and it was one of the toughest ones to make it through. It was the last night that we would all be together on this particular trip so it was a little emotional. Everyone started by saying what they gotten most out of trip trip and what they’ve learned. It was just an amazing time of fellowship and worship like no other. I left that debriefing knowing that my life would never be the same as a result of my interactions with these people and the those within Guatemala.
April 25, 2015 (Day 7)
Wow!! I can’t believe that I’m leaving. I’m sad to go but so very thankful and grateful for the new memories that will forever be imprinted on my brain. God is so good and so faithful. Many of us started this trip as mere strangers, then developed into friends, and now family. Being out there in the mission’s field that no matter how much explaining you do to others, they will never understand the experience. The emotional, physical, and mental stamina that these trips involve is that of which that only God can equip you for. I’ve learned how to love his people no matter what. We are all the same in spite of our slight differences. Living missionally is a lifestyle of living intentionally in all that you do. With God’s help, I will change the world!
Andre you are simply a beautiful spirit! I thank God for allowing us to meet on this trip and develop a great bond! I am praying for you always my dear friend thank you for your invaluable presence. You are a rare gem i have been privileged to encounter. I love you friend! ?
See you soon!
C